What to Do When You Get Stuck

By Lindsay Ehlers, ARNP, Mercy Center for Memory Health

Everybody gets stuck from time to time when trying to complete tasks; however, when you’re living with changing cognitive abilities (mild cognitive impairment or dementia), this may occur more often. And, when you get stuck, tasks may seem overwhelming or impossible.

For instance, it may be challenging to get started or, if you can get started, you may have a hard time figuring out how to complete the task. Or, perhaps the issue isn’t getting started or finishing, but rather that you’re having a difficulty making something a habit in your daily life. Whatever the cause, this can create stress in your life, so it’s helpful to find ways to compensate for the changes.

There are many reasons why you may get stuck; below are a few reasons why people get stuck and ideas to compensate and overcome the difficulty.

1. I don’t know how to do that.

Often, when you are unsure of how to do a task, it may seem very overwhelming. This makes it more difficult to even attempt the task at hand. Ask yourself these questions:

• Is this something I should be doing if I don’t know how?
  • Sometimes, if you don’t know how to do a task, it may not be safe to attempt independently.
  • Is there someone who can help me with this task?
    • You could try asking family or a friend for help, looking up the steps online, or calling a professional.
    • Is this task too big to do all at once?
      • If so, try breaking it into smaller steps. Set a goal to accomplish each step along the way.

2. I’ve tried this before, but it didn’t work out well.

When you’ve tried a task before and didn’t get the intended results, it’s easy to perceive it as a failure. However, this mindset is discouraging and will make it more difficult to attempt the task again. Plus, it’s possible that it didn’t turn out the way you expected because just one step in the process was completed incorrectly. In this case, ask yourself:

• Is there one step that can be changed to make this task easier?
• Do I need help with any of the steps?
  • Ask a loved one to discuss the task with you. They may have good insight and the ability to help you.

3. This isn’t enjoyable.

One of the hardest things to do is something you don’t find pleasurable. Unfortunately, these tasks are often part of your daily life and need to be done regardless of whether you enjoy doing them. If this is the situation, here are a couple strategies to help get the job done:

• Remind yourself of the purpose. This can help keep you focused and cope with the task.
• Give yourself an incentive to finish the task. This provides motivation. Anticipating a reward helps keep your mind in a positive state.

4. I don’t have time.

It can be difficult to add more things to your already busy schedule. Sometimes, this is because you envision that the task will take longer than it actually will or because learning a new task takes a few times to be done correctly. Fortunately, there are strategies to help manage your time:

• Use a planner. This will help you to organize your time and keep track of tasks.
• Break down tasks into smaller steps, which will take less time; it’s easier to find time to do a few smaller tasks than it is to finish an entire project.
• Time yourself on each step. This will help the next time you have a similar task to complete so you can allocate an appropriate amount of time.

5. I always plan to finish the tasks, but other things always seem to get in the way.

It’s very common to become distracted by other tasks that arise. Sometimes, the other things are of higher priority while, other times, the other task may just be more enjoyable. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to come up with a back-up plan so you can complete everything you need to accomplish. So, when something else gets in the way of finishing a task, try these recommendations:

• Schedule a time later the same day or in the next few days to come back to the task. Write it in your planner and stick to your schedule.
• If the task is time-sensitive, ask someone to help you finish it. This will alleviate your stress to have the job finished on time.

Trying new tasks can be intimidating, and you may not succeed on your first attempt. But, that’s ok. It’s important to keep trying, schedule more time or ask for help when appropriate. Repetition makes things easier, so don’t give up.