What is Gaslighting?

Healthy relationships are important for your mental health. There many forms of emotional abuse and gaslighting is one that has been given recent attention.  

Gaslighting – to manipulate someone psychologically into questioning their own sanity or reality. Gaslighting usually starts off small and builds. The gaslighter doesn’t have to have malicious intent or be aware that they are gaslighting for it to be unhealthy.  Here are some tactics used in gaslighting:

Withholding – refusing to listen or saying they don’t understand

Countering – questioning the other’s memory of an event or situation

Diverting – changing the subject

Denial – forgetting or denying that something happened or was said

Here are some signs that you may be a victim of gaslighting:

• You are always apologizing
• You make excuses for the abuser’s behavior
• You are questioning yourself and feel confused
• You feel like you are not being heard
• You feel torn down and then built back up on repeat
• You are told you are crazy
• You constantly feel like you need to defend yourself for things you haven’t done

It’s helpful to remind yourself of what healthy relationships should look like. Healthy relationships are built on these positive traits:

• Respect
• Trust
• Honesty
• Open Communication
• Compromise
• Support

If you are in a relationship that lacks these positive traits, it may be helpful to talk to someone. Your EAP provider can help.