Building Confidence in Kids
As parents, one of our most important tasks is helping our children grow up with the confidence and self-esteem that they need to have a positive life and impact on the world. This can be a daunting task to many parents who are also working on maintaining or boosting their own self-esteem. As a parent, it is important to remember that the way you treat yourself and talk about yourself is just as important as how you talk to and treat your child. Aside from keeping a positive attitude about yourself and being a good role model, there are other things you can do to help grow your child’s confidence.
1) Note what goes well and praise their effort. When a child is working on a new skill or has difficulty in a certain task it can be all too easy for them to latch onto what went wrong and feel a sense of defeat. As parents, we can help them notice the progress they have made, praise the effort they put into their work and note what went well for them in the process.
2) Focus on their strengths. Getting caught up in continuing to work on things they aren’t good at can cause a child to feel a sense of failure. Give your child the opportunity to focus on what they are good at and encourage them to build on and develop those skills. Help them see them through so that they feel a sense of accomplishment when they stick with it.
3) Be honest. Telling your child they did great on something even when they didn’t feels hollow and discredits your future input. In fact, over-praising can do more harm than good for your child. If a child thinks he/she is the best, the smartest, the fastest, they may feel like they no longer need to try. On the other hand, they may also think that they need to be perfect all the time and set an impossible standard for themselves. Instead, be honest with them and praise their effort.
4) Help them learn new things. Even as adults, we are proud of ourselves and get a self-esteem boost from learning new things. Teaching your children new things and then letting them do what they can, even if they make a few mistakes along the way, is important for their growth. This could be as simple as giving them a task to help with when making dinner or cleaning the house. Mistakes and failure should be presented to your child as opportunities. Encouraging effort along the way, rather than perfection, will help them feel proud even as they practice their new skill.
If you’re looking for more help with instilling confidence in your child or yourself, contact Mercy EAP at (319) 398-6575.
Photo: ©iStock.com/LumiNola
