Love Languages

It’s the season of strong relationships! From the time that we are born, our relationships help us learn how to navigate the world. We learn how to interact with others, express ourselves, and be part of the communities that surround us. Social connections have a strong influence on our minds, bodies, and behaviors – all of which impact our health and life expectancy. Research is clear that having strong social bonds can lead to a longer, happier, and healthier life.

Knowing and using our primary love languages can help to deepen the relationships we create all throughout life. The love languages help us to communicate how we like to be loved and they help us show appreciation for others in the ways they like to be loved. The idea of love language can be applied to any type of relationship in life – romantic, platonic, familial, professional, self, etc.

As you read through the love languages, you should be able to determine which love language you most closely identify with – this is called your primary love language. If it’s challenging to relate to just one, you can take this quiz to see your primary love language.

Here are the 5 ways of expressing and receiving love:

-           Acts of service: people who have this as their primary love language value when others go out of their way to make life easier. Maybe it’s bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or taking over one of your responsibilities after you’ve had a busy day at work. This love language is for those who believe actions speak louder than words – these people like to be shown they’re appreciated and respected in any given relationship.

-           Physical touch: this love language is not all about sexual intimacy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face are all ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical touch can bring a sense of security and belonging to make you feel the most loved.

-           Quality time: if your love language is quality time, you likely feel most loved when your partner actively wants to spend time with you. You’re likely always down to hang out – even for the most mundane tasks (running errands, doing chores). People who love through quality time prioritize active listening, eye contact, and being fully present. This one is all about giving your full, undivided attention to that one special person without distractions.

-           Receiving gifts: don’t mistake this love language as being materialistic. The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, effort, and thoughtfulness behind the gift. That small token shows that you are known, cared for, and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring you that gift and that creates connection. If this is your primary love language, you know that gifts are visual representations of love and are greatly treasured.

-           Words of affirmation: people who have this as their primary love language value unsolicited verbal acknowledgments of affection, compliments, words of appreciation, and encouragement. These people often interact with digital communication like texting and social media as both written and spoken words of affection matter most to these people – verbal expressions make them feel understood and appreciated.

Thanks to love languages, we know that not everyone feels loved in the same ways. Once you’ve identified your primary love language, and maybe you’ve even identified a love language for someone important in your life, put those actions to use! Being aware of the different love languages helps you communicate your needs in relationships and it helps you to better express your love for others in a way that’s going to matter most to them.