How to Talk to a Co-Worker About their Mental Health

The signs and symptoms of mental illness are not always obvious, especially in the workplace. Your co-worker may hide the fact that they’re struggling with a smile, positivity, and denial. However, if you reasonably suspect something is going on with your co-worker, do not be afraid to initiate a conversation with them. Your co-worker may not disclose everything to you, but offering your support will mean a lot more than you think it might. Here are some tips on talking to your co-workers about their mental health.

Before the conversation:

• Plan the conversation out in your head first. Where should you have it? How? When? What will you say? What will they say, and how will you respond?
• Make sure it is a good day for you and them to have this type of conversation.
• Prepare for resistance and/or an emotional reaction.
• Determine your objective.
• Speak to them sooner rather than later.

During the conversation:

• Start the conversation slow and let them lead you into the topic.
• Demonstrate respect and understanding. If they feel like you respect them, they will be more willing to disclose information. Listen without judgement.
• Focus on building trust and making them feel safe.
• Do not try to diagnosis your co-worker. You are there to support them, not treat them.
• Do not interrupt or minimize/dismiss their feeling.
• Do not make assumptions or jump to conclusions
• Try using O.A.R.S.:
  • Observe: Notice changes in your co-worker’s behavior. Is their mood persistently sad or irritable? Are they missing work or showing up late? Have they seemed more fatigued than usual? Keep in mind how long this change of behavior is going on.
  • Ask and Actively Listen: Listen to what your co-worker has to say and ask open-ended questions. Be patient and curious. Discuss issues they bring up and the impact of their behavior. Validate their thoughts and feelings. Work together to problem solve and introduce community resources.
  • Refer: Suggest various community or workplace resources available to your co-worker, such as the employee assistance program (EAP).
  • Support: Encourage your co-worker to utilize some of these resources, but do not pressure them into it. Instead, let them know they have options and that you will continue to be a support for them if they need you. Continue to communicate with your co-worker and check in on them. Keep offering your support.

Although speaking about mental health can be challenging, if you approach it with positive intent and genuine concern, it will bolster the overall success of the conversation.

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