Communication Tips for Talking to Teens

Adolescence is considered a difficult time for the teen and their caregiver. Mass media portrays the teenage years through reckless behavior, rebellion, and arguments with caregivers. Communication often deteriorates during this time as the teen enters an age of identity exploration and expresses a need for more freedom. However, rest assured, communication does not have to suffer. Instead, here are some tips to help bolster communication with teens.

1. Listen more than you speak. Active listening is the ability to focus entirely on a speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond thoughtfully. Listening does not mean having to agree with everything said but demonstrate respect and care for your teen by letting them finish their thoughts without interrupting.
2. Provide feedback and validate their feelings. Restate what you hear your teen say to show them that you are listening and understanding. You can also use clarification questions to demonstrate your understanding. For example, you might ask, “It sounds like you feel _____ because ____. Am I understanding you correctly?”
3. Support your teen in problem-solving. Do not immediately try to solve your teen’s problem or fix the situation. Instead, support them as they solve it themselves. This will prove your trust in their abilities and allow your teen to learn independence as they figure things out for themselves.
4. Give them privacy. Teens want and need their own space, so give it to them. A simple demonstration of privacy is knocking on their door and waiting for them to answer before entering.
5. Take an active interest in their lives. Keep up with your teen’s interests. Watch the TV shows they are watching, listen to their music, and attend their activities. However, you should not fully immerse yourself in their lives. You can be interested without being overbearing. As the previous tip states, you need to give your teen space too.
6. Ask questions occasionally. Asking the occasional question shows your teen that you are listening and interested. However, too many questions may feel like a privacy invasion to your teen. Therefore, be cautious of how many questions you ask, and do not overwhelm the conversation with them.
7. Make time to spend together. Find times throughout the day, such as over dinner or when you drop them off at activities, to have a conversation. Make time to engage in fun activities with your teen.
8. Show trust. Look for ways to show your teen that you trust them. Boost their confidence by letting them know you think they can handle something.

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